Wrapped Indulgence (A Love Affair with Candy)

Michael Moody, Chicago Fitness Trainer

 

It’s only a candy bar, but she stares at me. I sit across the room and stare back. I'm not sure how long I could sit here and watch. I look from every angle. Silence. I sit alone on my desk chair in this small office. The vents blow air. Why am I here? I have better things to do. But, I continue to stare and wonder if my life is happier with her in my hands. Nothing is sweeter than being with the one you love. It's tough when she's at arm's reach but I can't touch her. I want to be with her. I need her.

 

The light reflects off of her delicate wrapping. I struggle with control. This is a test. Why do I torture myself? Why don't I walk away? Both of us stand motionless. I anticipate her next move but see nothing. I hope no one sees me.

 

I stand up and walk closer. Her sweet smell lures me but I stop. I can't do this. I tell myself no yet I continue to step. She is perfect and it will be different this time. I am in control now. I can handle the repercussions of this infatuation. I’ll only take one.

 

I work hard to get to this place in my life. I’ve lost 15 pounds and have resisted the urge every day to grab from that dish. I've created a self-imposed rule: Walk and don’t stop. Today I want it though. I sacrifice the things, or food, I love to lose 30 pounds (that doesn't seem within reach). Why do I torture myself? Why don't I throw my hands in the air and curse the rules? I am happier then. Who can tell me what to do?

 

Sacrifice. I'm sick of the word. I tell myself that things are different now though. I can handle this. I will handle this.

I'm not alone anymore. I'm losing time and the cold white walls seem to move around me. My heart races. My pupils dilate. I will do this. It's only her and I. The muffled sound is closer. I am dizzy and afraid. I must do this. I'm not a little kid. I have self-control and I'm a responsible adult.

 

I see someone approach from my left side. Where is he going? He is walking in front of me. I must do this now. My heart races. My pupils dilate. I'm too late. He's taken her from me. She could've been mine. Who does he think he is? How can he step up to her and put her in his pocket. Unbelievable. I stand stunned. I have lost the duel. I step back slowly and gingerly sit down on my office chair.

 

I will not give up. I'm still thinking of her. I will wait until she is replaced. I love you. I love you (insert your favorite candy bar here).